Not sure If this are right place for that (and sorry, while I do speak Englisch okay-isch, I am not native speaker), but this thoughts does make impossible to sleep at nights.
My life is taken really bad turn many years ago, and 5 years ago it become just broken.
I had my parents, my sibling, place where we lived. Everything was fine. Or I thought so.
My sibling for almost 2 whole years is… dead. There is nothing ceremonious about it. They are just… Dead.
I thought that I had wonderful parents. Even despite beating, screaming and other stuff that they told and done to me throughout the years. One of them just did not do much as parent. That resulted in many mental and physical issues, that I feel to this day.
I remember my hometown. It is now turned into rubbles. It was not great place, but I liked it.
As result of all of I left with only to move to different country, to start my life here instead.
But it is hard. Learning languages is hard. Trying to navigate this world is hard. And I do not have that much time to fix all of that.
I was always socially akward. It is hard for me. I have issues with both my body and my mind, my health. But I am mostly on my own now. With no idea how to proceed and how to deal with this pressure.
And all of that just makes me not wanting to sleep at night. Like now.
I keep thinking about that.
How go people deal with that?
I can’t say things have ever been that bad for me, but I’m in a really rough place myself right now.
Focus on your next step. Survival is most important. Try your best to find stability and find a good outlet for all the stress you’re dealing with.
I’m homeless right now and my next step is to make enough money for rent somewhere. My outlet is my photography, I’d lose my mind without it.
Surely you’re dealing with a lot of trauma and you’re going to need help dealing with that. If you can get that help, then it’s worth pursuing. If not, it’s okay to put it off until you have higher priorities taken care of.
Your life isn’t ruined. You can rebuild and find stability. You just have to keep going and never give up.
I’m homeless right now
:( that is really awful to hear. What happened?
My outlet is my photography, I’d lose my mind without it
Hm… In past (in past as in a life that I lost forever), I wanted learn to draw. Picture that is my avatar is made by me. Not sure if it is considered to be good or bad, but I am somewhat proud of it.
Do you post your photos somewhere? I got curious about them. I also like to photographire stuff, but I am not 100% sure shy.
If you can get that help, then it’s worth pursuing.
I am thinking about it, but language barrier seems to not make it easy :(
Your life isn’t ruined. You can rebuild and find stability. You just have to keep going and never give up.
But what if trying to not give up just prolongs the inevitable? What if I could just accept it :(
In my native Sprache we have this saying “перед смертью не надышишься”, which translates roughly to “you can’t breath (air) enough (meaning, breath enough air until you are satisfied) before you die”.
And thank you too for taking your time to reply.
I’m homeless because the US is… a mess and my family is the opposite of helpful.
I do post occasionally. There’s a couple posts on my old lemmy account, a few on my old reddit, and many more on my old instagram. I don’t want to link my instagram to this account because it’s semi-professional for when I do gigs and I don’t need what I write here associated with that.
Drawing is a good option. I’ve always struggled with it personally, but I am trying again recently.
As for the language barrier issue. Your written English isn’t perfect, but totally functional. I imagine your spoken english is similar although it’s probably slow. I’ve heard the best way to learn fluency is from talking with people though. So maybe you’ll get better quicker than you expect.
To your final point. “Inevitable” is a word only used in hubris. If predicting the future were that easy, we’d live in a better world. Obviously I don’t know your language, but the phrase you’ve given seems to have a dual meaning. On one hand it seems to express a kinda of hopeless futility, but it also reads to me in a more positive way too. If ever said “I can’t breathe enough before I die” I would only say that to express that there’s so much I want to do and so little time to do it.
I can’t promise things will get better. Things might get worse or just stay hard for a really long time. That’s certainly been my experience. Still I’m determined because there are things I want to experience. I want to be happy and have fun and make friends and Im not going to let the unfairness of this shitty world stop me.
I had to go through a seriously dark period to get to this mindset, but I did get through it. I wasn’t hopeful or optimistic while I was dealing with it, but I kept going anyway.
I’m homeless because the US is… a mess and my family is the opposite of helpful.
At the very least, I have place to live. I could not imagine what it is to be like when you do not have safety where you can just be and be yourself without being observed…
I do post occasionally. There’s a couple posts on my old lemmy account, a few on my old reddit, and many more on my old instagram.
I should then check them out. Thanks.
Drawing is a good option. I’ve always struggled with it personally, but I am trying again recently.
I found out myself that using some specific type of paint and paper (or digital instead) could make it easier to enjoy drawing. I am not big fan of pencils, or watercolors, or office papers, but Gouache and watercolor paper (I think they have 2 types of them: “cold pressed” and “hit pressed”, which affects texture and how paint interacts with paper) to be more enjoyable.
I imagine your spoken english is similar although it’s probably slow
It is more to remember words, because there so many. And how to pronounce them. I have defects which prevents me to say certain letters (like “r”) and my accent is sehr strong. If you ever heard how Slav people speak — you probably know how it sounds.
Obviously I don’t know your language, but the phrase you’ve given seems to have a dual meaning
You are not the first person who say that to me… It is Ukrainian and Russian, where phrases like that is… Well, normal. We have many of them.
For example, there is this great saying “спасение утопающих - дело рук самих утопающих” which translates to “saving the drowning people — is in their own hands”, meaning that if you can not help yourself — nobody will.
On one hand it seems to express a kinda of hopeless futility, but it also reads to me in a more positive way too. If ever said “I can’t breathe enough before I die” I would only say that to express that there’s so much I want to do and so little time to do it.
That is interesting perspective, because it used mostly as “hopeless” and also as “stop enjoying this, you would not be able to satisfy yourself enough anyway”. It is can be told to person who trying to avoid something inevitable, trying to enjoy what is good left for them. E.g. "
- hey, wake up. It is 7:00, time prepare to go to work.
- Give me 5 more minutes.
- You would not be able to breath enough air before you die anyway, so GET UP now!" " It sounds very bothered in my translation, but it makes sense in original.
I had to go through a seriously dark period to get to this mindset, but I did get through it. I wasn’t hopeful or optimistic while I was dealing with it, but I kept going anyway.
You seems to be strong, which do makes me more inspired.
My kinda homeless isn’t as bad as it gets. I got a decent car and a decent job, just no bed.
My boss is actually Latvian with a pretty strong accent. She struggles with some stuff, but we communicate fine.
Anyway, I guess I’ve got some strength to me. It’s not something I started with though. You just pick it up on your way through hard times. I’m sure you can find your own strength too.
Sorry for the weird question, where are you living now that you are homeless? In your car? In a tent? In a longer term den? Or somewhere different every time? Are you homeless with money or without?
Also I was only ever homeless for a night but when I was I couldn’t stop thinking about where I was next gonna fill my water up and where I was gonna sleep (which are non issues when housed). Do these things preoccupy you too or have you got them sorted out?
I bounce around a few friends place and live in my car a bit. I have a full time job. I can park in their lot overnight and get water there during the day. So I’ve got most of the situation figured out. The address thing is gonna be an issue eventually. Actually, it’ll be a big one. Oh well.
Do you have enough money to get a box at a Postal Annex or UPS Store? Using that as your address for mailing stuff is considered an acceptable official address by a lot of official places.
Ah good to hear. Yeah I found too that having friends around was an immense help
How go people deal with that?
one day at a time, friend.
I did not build my success all at once, and it came with many many failures.
deal with what you can as best you can, one day at a time. and while you’re doing that, don’t forget to take a moment to celebrate the small wins along the way.
I remember my hometown. It is now turned into rubbles
Ukrainian?
tough read here my guy, one thing your post dies is allow. others to see their not so bad off, not that’s it’s much relief to you.
Ukrainian?
Yeah, for better or worse.
it’s much relief to you.
Sadly. But if it makes them feel at least slightly relieved, then maybe it was at least worth it, after all.
But thanks for reading.
Sounds like these are some really tough times happening over there, I’m sorry to hear that. And I am sorry for your loss.
As for how to cope with it all…? A hard question with a million answers. Few of them are easy or what we want to hear.
Well, you just do. It’s all you can do. What’s the alternative? Cry? Freak out? Be depressed? Those are all okay to do, too, but once the tears have dried the problems are still there. So your only real choice is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even when the world is going down in flames, you still gotta go to the store for bread.
4 things I try to keep in mind when going through struggles:
- To live is to suffer. This is a fundamental fact of life explored by every religion and philosophy since the beginning. Thankfully that’s not all there is to life, but it is a big chunk of it. It’s important to remember that suffering is built into us and brought about by simply being alive in a hostile and competitive world. We are wired to see threats (including negative predictions about the future) first, feel loss more strongly than gain, and to move through suffering due to the flood of wants and needs we seek to fulfill.
At best we might find momentary pockets of shelter from these storms… but we cannot stay there. If we are lucky, at some point we might be able exchange the hardest of struggles with less severe ones.
It may seem paradoxical, but accepting this fact actually helps lighten the weight of it. It helps answer the question of “why is this happening to me? Why me?” (The answer is, of course: because we are alive.)
-
We only have one life. We only get one chance to experience the whole palette of emotions that comes with living. You can’t appreciate the light until you’ve experienced the darkness. Love us great, but its true value is only known if you’ve experienced a broken heart. So I try to see every situation, every emotion, as a gift. Sometimes it’s a shitty gift you wish you could return but even a negative experience is still a better gift than, say, dying. Try to think of yourself as a poet, or an artist or musician that is purposely living through all the experiences, good and bad, so as to find insight, wisdom, and inspiration.
-
Stay in the now. Just as there is only one life, there is only one ‘now’. And it is right now. And no other time. The only thing we really have to take care of is what is happening now. Yes, things happened in the past. And those things may have created the now we are currently in, but the past is no longer real. It’s gone, vanished into thin air. It’s just a figment of our imagination constructed by memories. When we look back on the past and feel regret, or lament some unfortunate turn of events or lousy upbringing, it’s important to remember that those feelings are the only things that are actually real. The feelings we just created ourselves in this very moment over a story we just told ourselves. So, what stories are we telling ourselves? And why?
Or as I like to say “Stay out of the past, nothing new ever happens there.”
Once you unshackle yourself from the stories you built up over a lifetime, you are no longer in a mental prison of your own making.
It feels as if the past is like a boulder rolling down a hill, its trajectory is our future. It feels as if this boulder which is our past must also dictate our path forward. If we came from one place, surely that means we’ll end up where that path concludes, right? But that is an illusion. You can negate destiny itself simply by rejecting that premise and carving a new path forward at any time. It may not change the hurdles we face in the now but it does change our course out from this point.
Also, stay out of the future. For similar reasons. Unless you have a crystal ball, you don’t really know what is going to happen. You can be smart and prepare for things likely to happen but there’s no guarantee that they will. So there’s no point in worrying about it.
When you narrow your scope down to just what is happening right now and what you need to do about it, it takes a ton of weight off your shoulders. No more past weighing you down, no more future keeping you up. Just stay in the now. The only thing that is actually real.
- The power of perspective.
The power to frame things in your mind is a skill. It’s a mental muscle that is initially weak but grows stronger the more you exercise it. This framing, a way of interpreting data, can alter your whole reality. Even in the darkest of nights it can lift your spirits and give you hope, or at least peace.
I don’t feel like typing anymore so I will recommend to you a very powerful book. In English it’s called ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’ by Viktor Frankl. Or in the original title:
Ein Psychologe erlebt das Konzentrationslager
It’s an easy read that explains a view on life that can make a tremendous impact on yours if you let it.
I hope some of what I wrote made some kind of sense. These ideas, simple though they may be, have helped me get through life.
Good luck and I hope brighter days are just around the corner for you. Sounds like you deserve some grace from the world and I hope you get it.
Ein Psychologe erlebt das Konzentrationslager
German language going to produce many dark times to me, heh. Especially articles. Hopefully, I will be able to overcome them, instead of them overcoming me.
I hope some of what I wrote made some kind of sense. These ideas, simple though they may be, have helped me get through life.
It does!
Good luck and I hope brighter days are just around the corner for you. Sounds like you deserve some grace from the world and I hope you get it.
This reminds me about one specific game over screen in Fallout 1 videogame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Upbu3K1cwnI Second one in video, where narrator says: “The darkness of the afterlife is all that awaits you now. May you found more peace in that world, than you found in this one.”
It is very comforting to me, and at same time — makes me shiver in fear.
And vielen dank :)
You do. Or you don’t.
It sucks.
My struggles are different from yours: Seven heart attacks, a saddle pulmonary embolism, below-knee amputation, kidney failure so I am on dialysis. Just the barest touch so I don’t waste your time with a novel. :)
The only way to survive is to focus on now. To the best of your ability, live in the moment. What I mean is: You cannot change the past. While you will sometimes remember the past, try not to let yourself dwell too much on it - the good or the bad. I mean, don’t forget what you want to remember, but don’t waste much time on what’s already happened. And for the future, the same - you cannot decide how to spend tomorrow until it comes. If you spend all your time thinking in the past and/or the future, you lose the NOW, which is the only time you can actually ACT.
So you do want to try and work towards bettering your future, just don’t waste all your time fantasizing about what might happen or what you might want. Plan, yes. Work toward, yes. But do not lose sight of today.
“Today” - “Now” - this is your life. Not the past, nor the future.
Obviously every day cannot be a vacation. You can’t have indulgent food every day. You can’t be lazy every day. You can’t take every day off and relax. But if you are spending every minute of every day working and stressed, that is also untenable - unsustainable.
It’s not that you have to work less - you may have to work a lot to have enough money to survive. But the idea is that while you cannot do anything about what the world does to you or how people treat you, you have control over how you react. If someone - a stranger - treats you poorly, just let it go. You’ll probably never see them again.
Try to find the joy in little things, in everyday things. One of the things I like to do is try to make people laugh, if I can. That is, say amusing things that are funny even in just the moment. Like I like to joke when there’s good weather how terrible that is because we have nothing to complain about - it often gets a laugh. I don’t try and force laughter, mihd, just be amusing and I love to see when it clearly brightens someone’s day.
I’m 51, and with my health issues, I probably won’t live to see 60. So these simple pleasures are what I treasure. The little time I have with my wife, keeping in touch with the two family members I have left, trying ot make people laugh wherever I go, enjoying some of the games I play.
That’s all we can do. Just to make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in. To some degree: You are in control of how you choose to go through life, as far as your attitude goes. Which is not to say you can’t grieve, be sad, be wistful, be resentful, angry, so many emotions based on what’s happened to you. But try not to let all of that get you down and be how you live. Acknowledge the bad, but also try to acknowledge the good: Do you have food? Shelter?
And try to make little improvements where you can.
It’s hard. And everyone is different. I’ve just tried to explain how I try to look at life, and I hope some of that might help you. I apologize for the bits that are unhelpful and annoying. But I hope things get better for you. I hope you don’t give up.
My struggles are different from yours: Seven heart attacks, a saddle pulmonary embolism, below-knee amputation, kidney failure so I am on dialysis. Just the barest touch so I don’t waste your time with a novel. :)
My ex friend once experienced heart attack when he was in a store. I was somewhere else, so I did not had chance to see it or do anything about. That is just awful, awful. Horrible. It should not happened to you or anyone else :(
So you do want to try and work towards bettering your future, just don’t waste all your time fantasizing about what might happen or what you might want. Plan, yes. Work toward, yes. But do not lose sight of today.
Mh… I might be guilty of that… A lot.
Try to find the joy in little things, in everyday things. One of the things I like to do is try to make people laugh, if I can
I actually also joke a lot like that, people even laughing. Except one time when someone told that my jokes are very… self hurting? Like I might say too many bad things about myself that becomes punchlines. I sometimes think, that I might need to stop joking, because I am not great at reading room…
I’m 51, and with my health issues, I probably won’t live to see 60
I would say, that you are sounds like person who will outlive me 😎
Acknowledge the bad, but also try to acknowledge the good: Do you have food? Shelter?
Yeah, but bad things always manage to outshine good things :(
It’s hard. And everyone is different. I’ve just tried to explain how I try to look at life, and I hope some of that might help you. I apologize for the bits that are unhelpful and annoying. But I hope things get better for you
Mh… Yeah, things that are out of my control, I can not do much about them, I should just focus on what I can do.
But life are really cruel like that, sometimes even cartoonishly cruel.
But I do enjoyed reading about your perspective on life.
But it is going to take so much of me to accept this, so it would not going to be fast
I hope you don’t give up.
Huh. Maybe I would not and you all will hear again about me but as famous rock star 😎
Thank you
I actually also joke a lot like that, people even laughing. Except one time when someone told that my jokes are very… self hurting? Like I might say too many bad things about myself that becomes punchlines. I sometimes think, that I might need to stop joking, because I am not great at reading room…
Self-deprecating. It’s common to make humour at the expense of yourself. It’s really common for people with things like ADHD and other things. Ask me how I know. :) But you have self-worth. You deserve to live, you deserve happiness, you deserve basic comfort. We all do.
Self-care is hard, but it is important.
Yeah, but bad things always manage to outshine good things :(
It can feel like that, but you have to fight against that feeling. I understand. So many days I can’t do anything except sit at the computer and waste time because dialysis is hard on the body. I feel stupid and useless a lot. But I try not to let myself feel that way.
We can all only deal with the hand we’re dealt, and we can only choose how to react.
And it’s not easy.
I should just focus on what I can do.
Yes, exactly that. Like you say, life is cruel, but we still have to keep on trying as best as we can.
And lemme tell ya, sometimes that involved a good cry and being angry at the world. And then moving on and keeping on trying :)
But it is going to take so much of me to accept this, so it would not going to be fast
There’s no deadline and no test. You don’t have to say “I’ll try and if I screw up, that’s it, game over” - the nice thing is that every day you decide how to face that day. Did yesterday go well? Good! Keep it up! Did yesterday go poorly? It happens, don’t let that make you feel like today has to go poorly.
It’s like “Oh no I’m on a diet and I made a bad decision to eat a candy bar, who cares now, I’ll eat ice cream” - one mistake or bad day doesn’t mean you have to have another. :)
Huh. Maybe I would not and you all will hear again about me but as famous rock star 😎
Even if I don’t hear about you as a famous rock star, I’m sure that based on what you’ve said about your personality, and how some of it matches mine well enough I can say with high confidence: There will be some who remember you and the interactions they had with you.
As useless as I feel, I know I’ve made some people smile. And I know you have, too.
I’m glad this was a little helpful. There have been a few times in my life where someone has said something that’s helped me a bit, so if I’ve managed to pass that on a little, that also means you’ve helped me at the same time. :) And that’s the best thing we can do as humans - helping each other <3
Self-deprecating. It’s common to make humour at the expense of yourself. It’s really common for people with things like ADHD and other things. Ask me how I know. :)
I am undiagnosed (not at current moment anyway) and I am pretty sure ™ but I feel being called out, heh.
But you have self-worth. You deserve to live, you deserve happiness, you deserve basic comfort. We all do.
It seems that sometimes I forget about that…
It’s like “Oh no I’m on a diet and I made a bad decision to eat a candy bar, who cares now, I’ll eat ice cream” - one mistake or bad day doesn’t mean you have to have another. :)
It is something that I am very guilty of… I know that one mistake is not end of the world, but it does feel like one to me 🥲
As useless as I feel, I know I’ve made some people smile. And I know you have, too.
Well, you can add +1 to your smile count. Maybe it could help you feel less useless about yourself! I sure hope it does.
Definitely never had to deal with anything like that. But people do go on. You have a lot of trauma so probably a lot of what you are feeling is because of that, and it’s normal, but if you can find people to work through it with that will help. Probably try to find a group of people with similar backgrounds, or at least a therapist or priest or bartender to talk to. I’d seek out some books about people who have dealt with similar things- there are a lot. Some uplifting, some not. Probably work look for the uplifting ones. If you’re trying to learn the language of your new home probably get in the habit of going to a library anyhow, and I bet a librarian would be able to help you find some books about people surviving war and trauma and death. Man’s Search For Meaning is a pretty rough but good read. I will add that when you are young it feels like you don’t have much time, but the fact is you do. Start building little good habits. Help a neighbor. Take a walk. Read a book. Pick up some trash. Find a group to play chess with. Stuff like that.
Probably try to find a group of people with similar backgrounds, or at least a therapist or priest or bartender to talk to
I wish but language barrier is really hitting hard :( English would not cut it. Which is very tragic, because that is one of not many things in life that I can deal with and have interest about.
I will add that when you are young it feels like you don’t have much time, but the fact is you do.
I wish, but ability to stay in other country is not right — it is an privilege :(
And unless I will be able to work this out — I would not be able to stay, being forced to get back, to… Nothing :( there not much left to return to.
Probably work look for the uplifting ones.
Maybe I should try. But I do not know, if that going to help. I am already find myself ignoring real world too much, because it is not the best place :(
Man’s Search For Meaning is a pretty rough but good read
Is it in English?
And thank you, very much for taking time to reply, I appreciate it.
At a certain point, it all gets to be pretty absurd how bad things can get, and so quickly!
Once you embrace the absurdity and realize how very cruel life is, you can sleep like a baby.
“Oh, I have cancer? of course”
“I’ve been shot! What took you so long”
and so on
At a certain point, it all gets to be pretty absurd how bad things can get, and so quickly!
:( I suppose I learned about it in a very painful and hard way. Not sure what conclusion to make :(
Once you embrace the absurdity and realize how very cruel life can be, you can sleep like a baby.
That is interesting view. I think my sibling shared similar views. But maybe you are right. Even if I do not really want to accept that.
Thank you three for taking time to read and answer.
I’m sorry for your loss and awful suffering.
Now, you’re one of us, you see “behind the curtain”, the reality everything around us is trying to conceal, the rot. Be kind to the oblivious and have a laugh with the bitter.
First: sorry man. That all sucks hard.
But it is hard. Learning languages is hard. Trying to navigate this world is hard. And I do not have that much time to fix all of that.
Depending on where you wanna go, your English is already fine, so you would have no trouble in most European countries, as most of us speak it. The rest will come.
I was always socially akward. It is hard for me. I have issues with both my body and my mind, my health. But I am mostly on my own now. With no idea how to proceed and how to deal with this pressure.
I feel sorry for you. Life can suck. Without knowing where your destination is, I can only give hints for things I know work HERE (Germany). Like, get help! Professional and maybe some support-group. Maybe you’re not “awkward” but just different. That’s not bad.
I work voluntarily in a shelter for people who got fucked by life. Mostly by other people. I have heard my fair share of lifes going down the drain seemingly. But most actually do manage to live comfortably. With help.
How go people deal with that?
One universal help is: radical acceptance. Basically means: You cannot change some things, so dont waste your time worrying about them. Focus on what you CAN change and try to do it. Sounds simple, but isn’t.
Hard to give better tips, not even knowing where you are right now and what your realistic options are.
Out of curiosity… Ukrainian?
First: sorry man. That all sucks hard
Danke :)
Depending on where you wanna go, your English is already fine, so you would have no trouble in most European countries, as most of us speak it. The rest will come.
I am in Germany. It seems Englisch is not something that is valued in any official place:( The Jobcenter is, probably, the worst of them all, when it comes to helping people who are not speaking Deutsch yet.
I once was trying to help my friend with first Termin in their Jobcenter, since they do not speak neither English nor Deutsch. Their Berator had good Englisch (at least by my standards) but she refused to drop her Deutsch for solid 10 minutes, even despite the fact they we did not understand 90 % of her words. Seems to be systematic issue :(
So it is either that or only learn this language, which appears to be quite the task… Aber ich liebe Deutschland.
Like, get help! Professional and maybe some support-group.
But I do not know where to find one, given my limited language knowledge (And while I speak 3 Sprache, neither of them is that valued here)…
That and just getting increasingly exhausted, especially Sprachkurs. Your language seems to be really complex and nuanced :(
I work voluntarily in a shelter for people who got fucked by life. Mostly by other people. I have heard my fair share of lifes going down the drain seemingly. But most actually do manage to live comfortably. With help.
Could you tell me more?
One universal help is: radical acceptance. Basically means: You cannot change some things, so dont waste your time worrying about them. Focus on what you CAN change and try to do it. Sounds simple, but isn’t.
Huh… You are the second person to tell me that. Or drei? Maybe i just never learned how to just… Accept things :( Being unable to fix something is scary…
Out of curiosity… Ukrainian?
Yep. For better or worse, but that who am I. Ich komme aus der Ukraine.
Hard to give better tips, not even knowing where you are right now and what your realistic options are.
Currently staying in Deutschland thanks to Paragraph 24, which, as far I understand, was extended today for Ukrainians.
And thank you… Vier? For replying and reading all of that. Vielen dank
I am in Germany. It seems Englisch is not something that is valued in any official place:( The Jobcenter is, probably, the worst of them all, when it comes to helping people who are not speaking Deutsch yet.
Ok, valued much it might not be, but at least it’s largely understood. With ukranian or polish you’d be in a lot more trouble :-) And the jobcenter is worse for everyone, so it’s not YOU. They don’t help ANYONE. At least they’re more careful with you, as you could always play the racism!-card.
I once was trying to help my friend with first Termin in their Jobcenter, since they do not speak neither English nor Deutsch. Their Berator had good Englisch (at least by my standards) but she refused to drop her Deutsch for solid 10 minutes, even despite the fact they we did not understand 90 % of her words. Seems to be systematic issue :(
That I can, at least, explain. They must not speak anything else than Deutsch, even if they could be fluent in ukranian. I know someone who works there and he told me HAD to speak german with a polish person that didn’t speak german, despite him being polish too and speaking native tongue. They’re just not allowed to and can get in big trouble if they would. Sounds stupid, but welcome to germany. We value rules, even if they make not much sense :-)
So it is either that or only learn this language, which appears to be quite the task… Aber ich liebe Deutschland.
Ich nicht :-) But it could be worse. It’s complaining on a high level. Learning the language sure helps. At least the very basics. But despite official places, you’ll get far with english, so be glad you’re not screwed language-wise. Everyone beyond 60 or so is probably decent enough in english.
But I do not know where to find one, given my limited language knowledge (And while I speak 3 Sprache, neither of them is that valued here)… That and just getting increasingly exhausted, especially Sprachkurs. Your language seems to be really complex and nuanced :(
Yeah, finding help here is hard. Especially since the last years with the large influx of, cough cough migrants :-) Two things you could try that will probably help:
A bit of luck, pertinence and patience will get you an appointment. Maybe not your first choice, but it’s in english and also ukranian. Most psychologists do speak english, though i dunno if they would actually help you with that. But worth trying!
Or…depending on how urgent you really need help. Like before doing anything silly, you can always go to the next hospital that has a psychiatric ambulance. Bring time, probably. They have to take you and might help you further.
As for german, yeah i imagine it being superhard with all the der-die-das and shit. Native speakers often also struggle, so…
Could you tell me more?
Hmm…not with going into details. I don’t work anymore, so that’s something i wanna do. Not everyone in this shitty world is lucky to live a good life. So those kinda like have to help these less fortunate. What I do is offering help for selected people to accompany them when they find noone else (and could not pay), or just need an open ear to listen. Or just practical stuff. I’m already a very bitter misanthropist, so none of the horrifying stories could shock me anymore. Pedophilia, slavery, torture, violence, rape, war, all together…i hear it nearly daily.
Huh… You are the second person to tell me that. Or drei? Maybe i just never learned how to just… Accept things :( Being unable to fix something is scary…
It is scary. of course. But also completely out of your abilities. So every second lamenting on how you could not do anything, just accepting the fact that you can’t. Yes, sounds simple. Too simple. But isn’t. That takes time, and maybe professional help. Radical acceptance is a coping skill in Dialectical Behavior therapy (DBT): acknowledging reality as it is, including painful facts and feelings, rather than spending energy insisting it shouldn’t be happening. “Radical” here means accepting it fully. with your thoughts, emotions, and body. It can reduce the extra suffering that comes from fighting what you can’t change.
Yep. For better or worse, but that who am I. Ich komme aus der Ukraine.
Couldn’t say why but your english grammar “sounded” russian or ukranian, but as you wouldn’t dare to move here as a russian, the probability was very high for the latter :-) So welcome to Krautland. Yes, §24 is correct. Are you allowed to stay or is it just some temporary stuff? I have no practical experience how this is handled here.
Ok, valued much it might not be,
hehe, I think I am starting to notice when people speak English when they are Deutsch speaker. Once there was case when person was writing all nouns with big letter, which is valid in Deutsch, but not English.
They don’t help ANYONE.
Yeah… At the very least, in my current Jobcenter they offer translators. But there was funny situation. They use Skype for voice and video, and one time they tried to call translator, and it did not worked, and she said “Skype ist kaputt”, which is funny way to say that something does not function.
Sounds stupid, but welcome to germany. We value rules, even if they make not much sense :-)
We actually have similar law, that officials, workers, etc should serve clients in Ukrainian, but if someone want to, then can ask to speak in Russian, which is not big deal.
Well, until 2022. Not because laws has changed, but because asking someone to speak Russian might be considering quite rude, if they speak Ukrainian.
Ich nicht :-)
The burocracy is definitely… Uh… Much worse here. In several months here I got more papers documents here, then I got in my entire life in Ukraine. And everything is very slow and confusing.
But in general? It is definitely much much better that I had in past. Which, probably, say more about my past, then about Germany, but eh. I do not have much choice now anyway, so it is either that or become bloody mushy puddle somewhere under Kramatorsk.
Huh, that is sound really worse then I initially though.
As for german, yeah i imagine it being superhard with all the der-die-das and shit. Native speakers often also struggle, so…
The thing is with German language is… How everything is… Not intuitive and relies on either remembering EVERYTHING or remembering bunch of weird rules that sometimes can help you. Like Tags are he, all times of day is he, except Nacht… It is she…
Like… Ukrainian or Russian is, probably, might be even more complex with all of their stupid concepts, especially punctuation with comas. Like, you could easily build quite simple sentence, and almost every word in it should be separated by comas, because there is reason to why.
For example, this languages are also gendered, so nouns also can be he, she, it, which also affects many parts of language. In fact, gender affects not only conjunctions and other related words, but even verbs!
So, for example, if you wanted to ask “Was hat du heute gemacht?”, you can say only that. You can say that to him, her, it. While in both Russian and Ukrainian it will be: “Що ти сьогодні робила?” — for her as you “Що ти сьогодні робив?” — for him as you “Що ти сьогодні робило?” — for it as you. It not used that much, but it exists.
But the thing is… It is more obvious and depends on one simple rule?
For example, to get gender of word you can add simple possessive article “mine”, and just listen, if it sounds natural or not.
“Мій яблуко” — Meinen Apfel — it is sounds wrong. “Моя яблуко” — Meine Apfel — this sounds Aldo wrong. “Моє яблуко” — Mein Apfel — this sounds correct.
You could, of course, do it in hard way and learn them one by one. Or do as in Deutsch, where you can learn that all Tags are he, -ung is always she, and so on. But this is very horrific way to do so, even if you are native speaker.
It is especially useful, since many words do not share same gender in Ukrainian and Russian, but the principle stays the same.
With this simple “test” you can quickly deduce gender of a word, even if you see it in the first time in your life.
And do not mention conjunction of an words… Articles in Deutsch and that is my biggest nemesis.
Couldn’t say why but your english grammar “sounded” russian or ukranian
Yep, this is typical for us. Probably, the biggest give away is that many of us forget about existence of articles. Since we do not have this concept — it is very unnatural to use them since we have hard time grasping when would we even need them, especially in something like English.
You could never use them, when talking to Ukraninan or Russian, and they will understand you perfectly, while English or German speaker will, most likely, start to lose mind.
Or they use so, god, damn, much comas.
but as you wouldn’t dare to move here as a russian
Well… There is quite high amount of Russians who are here, but it us mostly because they are kids of parents who moved to Germany when USSR stopped being a thing. At least, UT seems to be true for Berlin and, probably, some eastern States, like Brandenburg and so on.
Are you allowed to stay or is it just some temporary stuff?
It is temporary, until Germany might decide to stop extending 24 paragraph for Ukrainians. They already extended it up to 2028 couple days, but added new rule that you do not have right for 24 paragraph unless you have a proof that you do not have military “obligation” in Ukraine.
Which, practically speaking, means that you would not be able to escape at all. At least, not alive or with all limbs intact.
And really bad thing about this paragraph is that time, that you spent here, is not counted toward getting right for citizenship.
Currently, as far I remember, you need to live here at least 5 years to even be allowed to attempt try to become citizen. You can speak the most fluent C1 Deutsch, know everything about politics, history, but since you do not have required 5 years — you can not.
You need to switch to different paragraphs, like work visa, marrying citizen, and so on for days to start counting.
Once there was case when person was writing all nouns with big letter,
Oh yes, that’s surely one indicator for us :-)
but if someone want to, then can ask to speak in Russian, which is not big deal.
AFAIK russian isn’t much different from ukranian, yes? Like czech+slovak or german+dutch
The thing is with German language is… How everything is… Not intuitive and relies on either remembering EVERYTHING
Oh yeah. These rules are SO dumb and make NO sense. Female chair? male table? WTF? who came up with this shit… I would really like for it to go away. English is so much more simple.
“Skype ist kaputt”
It’s a funny word :) But german itself sounds like two machine-guns having sex. it’s not a beautiful language. Though ukranians sound like they’re constantly fighting with each other too. Like Thai :-)
While in both Russian and Ukrainian it will be: “Що ти сьогодні робила?” — for her
Heck, that’s equally weird and would probably be hard to remember learning either. I once wanted to learn russian, but already gave up at kyrillic. I just suck at languages. Learned japanese 30yrs ago and already forgot 99,9% because i never actually needed it.
With this simple “test” you can quickly deduce gender of a word,
And yet, it’s still very random :-) But a decent approximation i guess…
Well… There is quite high amount of Russians who are here
Actually, before the war, I rarely ever heard russian anywhere. So i thought the russians in germany are probably as many as e.g. asians. Now it’s really VERY common in the cities to hear either russian or ukranian (can’t distinguish, but most likely ukranian, obviously) Maybe there are but they all learned decent-ish german by now and hence you’d notice less obvious.
It is temporary, until Germany might decide to stop extending 24 paragraph for Ukrainians.
Ugh. Currently, considering all the brutal changes the stupid government introduces, i wouldn’t wonder :-(
unless you have a proof that you do not have military “obligation” in Ukraine
So, you can stay if you are actively drafted in UA? or NOT drafted?
You need to switch to different paragraphs, like work visa, marrying citizen, and so on for days to start counting.
Weird. So you’re not worthy of being german unless you just marry one? How logical :-)
AFAIK russian isn’t much different from ukranian, yes? Like czech+slovak or german+dutch
Well… Kind of, yes. General structure is similar, although words from Ukrainian can become quickly very alien to Russian. In that regard, Ukrainian will be more close to Polish or, funnily enough, to Deutsch. Turn out, we use quite a lot words from it, or, at the very least, words from same source.
Words like Farbe, Ziel, words with Blitz, and so on. Even some sentence structure was making sense there, but not in Russian.
But yes.
English is so much more simple.
Honestly, I really do enjoy English in many regards. Many things just not a thing there. (At least, not in modern English anyway). They do not even have different “you” anymore. Like, no “Sie” (as in “Groß person”, as our teacher loved to explain), no “du”, no “ihr”. (We also have this, but we have “combined” ‘Sie’ and ‘Ihr’ into same thing for the most part, “Ви”.), just you. And maybe added “You two/people” or “Your Highness” if you need to address them in different manner.
Or the fact that, while they do technically have grammatical gender, it almost never affect the grammatical part of language. Like, almost everything, that are not living person is “it”. Or it is living thing with known gender (dog is “it” unless specified if it is “she” or “he”).
And that is it.
It’s a funny word :)
It is funny for us (at least, I think so) because we use this word as “universal” word that can be used in many different situation, good or bad.
For example, you might be familiar with “suka” or “blyat” or “pisdez” or “ahuenno”. They fill similar niche. Or “fuck” in English.
Which makes it funny, since instead of forming an entire complex sentence to express your feeling about some situation… You say one word (which is also very short) and everyone understand you perfectly.
once wanted to learn russian, but already gave up at kyrillic
There are some useless letters, I would tell you that. Letters like “Ё”, which essentially sounds like “йо”, and only small amount of some words even use this letter. “Ёлка” (evergreen tree) or “Ёжик” (hedgehog), however many people white it as “Ежик” or “Елка” and they fine with that.
Or “ъ”. I present you with… “Hard symbol” (exist in Russian only). It is opposite or “ь” (exist in both Ukrainian and Russian), which is “soft symbol”, which supposed to make words sounds softer. It supposed to make word sound more… Uh, harder?
Hard as in you going on with you day, but then you hit some really hard rock with your leg on your way and fall.
“Объявление” (announcement, notice) — reads as “ob-(short, immediate pause)-iawlenie”.
Some might even consider “я” to be useless. It is almost never possible to properly latinize, and it sounds essentially as “йа”.
“Ы” — while not useless is… Just weird letter. It is impossible to latinize (as far I am aware — Latin does not have anything close to this letter) and it sounds like you are caveman who just saw easy pray and you started to scream to your fellow cavemans to signal that information to them.
But you, probably, referring to cursive writing and it is… Well, many letters written in very similar way.
There was this meme floating around, when someone lose their mind over learning Cyrillic and they wrote word “шиншилла”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_chinchilla
This is real thing, that many letters written in this very round way. Compared to Latin, where many letters very different to write.
And yet, it’s still very random :-) But a decent approximation i guess…
I would say that grammatical gender on itself is crap, but since we can not just throw it out overnight, might as well have some easy tool to easy the pain of using language.
Maybe there are but they all learned decent-ish german by now and hence you’d notice less obvious.
I would say, that many of them, in fact, never really learned German. Not because they can not, but because they do not see this as necessity. They just usually were living in their own “places” and not interacting much with locals. E.g. only visiting Russian speaking doctors, barbers, schools, works and befriending only their fellow ‘comrades’ who also speak Russian.
I think there was number of around 1 million Ukrainians in Germany as of now, so this places are overfilled, and so more people have to hang out with locals as result of that.
Ugh. Currently, considering all the brutal changes the stupid government introduces, i wouldn’t wonder :-(
Yep. I would say it might be especially harder in states where anti-immigration governments might win.
I think, as early as March of this east, Germany tried to cut free integration and language courses for people who want by themselves, but then later they kind of reversed this decision, but cut down available “slots” in half or more.
Nothing has changed for “” forced"" courses, however. For example, if your Jobcenter says that you must start going to courses until set Termin, then they pay for it. But even then, it is tricky system. They, usually, give you courses without problems if this is your first time, and only up to B1 level. If you would not be able to get B1, then they might refuse new courses application, and this is not that uncommon.
Typical language course in most schools consistent of 8 months. In this short timespan they cramp your brain up to B1 level, usually 3 hours a day, from Monday to Friday. And this is for German language. If it would had been English — sure, maybe 8 months is enough to get decent language skills. But German?
I am barely remembering correct articles, correct conjugations for verbs, “position zwei” or “eins”, numbers, audition, and we already doing Partizip 2, past form, and that is not to mention other stuff.
And that is me. My English knowledge helps me quite a lot, since rules there are quite similar. But mine colleagues who does not English as I do? They doing even worse.
And that not to mention that not everyone is… uh… Sharpest tool in a shed. Not everyone can look on a Tafel and be “oh, yeah, this is piece of cake”. I am certainly not.
So, I expect that I might not get B1. Not the first time, anyway.
For more then B2, you need to provide strong reason why you need this course. And if Jobcenter would not consider this to be a strong reason (or today’s berator was in bad mood), then you might get refusal.
So, you can stay if you are actively drafted in UA? or NOT drafted?
In my case, I am not affected. Everyone who want to get 24, starting from 9 October, they need to have proof that they “done their military duties”. However, they stopped accepting all man from getting 24 around in Juni of this year. I guess, they did not had proper law in place to refuse before. This is not required for people who got here BEFORE that time.
However, I am still affected (but this is less about Germany, but about Ukraine), because in case if, for example, I need to update passport (or I will lose it), or get new documents, or bank, then it will be a problem, since most of things things are only available inside country or, in case of getting documents, they want to make sure that you are not “in search” for mobilisation, and if you are, you can simply return back, do your things, and be back :) (Which means you will be trapped inside afterward).
Weird. So you’re not worthy of being german unless you just marry one? How logical :-)
Sadly, it works in a similar way almost everywhere :( It is just now I have essentially 2 ways. Either somehow get citizenship here, or return back where I will die.
When you asked and got protection in one EU country, others might refuse to do so, simply referring to “well, you already got protection, so get out”. Which is bad, because there is almost not countries in the world where you can freely be infinitely when you are Ukrainian. Most require valid visa. Only with EU we have 90 days visa-free access, and I already “spent” them, so if I ever going to lose my German 24 paragraph, without getting different one (like work visa, marrying, etc) — I will be refused to even enter any other EU country. Except, of course, for deportation or returning back on my own free will.
grammatical gender on itself is crap,
True!
I would say, that many of them, in fact, never really learned German. Not because they can not, but because they do not see this as necessity.
I thought this mostly applies to our far-east-immigrants, they segregate and want their own culture but with german privileges not in their own repressive state. I actually know more russians online than i’ve ever met here, so i have no educated opinion on their desire to segregate :-)
Yep. I would say it might be especially harder in states where anti-immigration governments might win.
Totally. Sadly we only know total-racism or total-liberal-bullshit. No sensible middle ground. I have nothing against migrants, but i have a lot against a very special kind. You’re not allowed to voice such thoughts, you’re instantly a nazi.
then they might refuse new courses application, and this is not that uncommon.
yeah, that sure does sound like germany and their horrible institutions with borked “logic”.
I think there was number of around 1 million Ukrainians in Germany as of now, so this places are overfilled, and so more people have to hang out with locals as result of that.
Surely. At first i would probably feel safest with other germans too if i would emigrate. Btw, you hate russians per se now? All russians i am in contact with have absolutely no problem with ukranians and despise the stupid war.
Typical language course in most schools consistent of 8 months. In this short timespan they cramp your brain up to B1 level, usually 3 hours a day, from Monday to Friday. And this is for German language. If it would had been English — sure, maybe 8 months is enough to get decent language skills. But German?
I can’t imagine at all. But I, personally, am really bad at language-learning, and especially bad with forced school-learning. I need my own place and pace. Left highschool with a bad score in english and 25yrs later i’m close to native. like watching everything in english without subs and not missing more than i would do when watching shit in german. Others learn that in a year or so :-) German in 8 months to b1? even i would struggle lol.
And that is me. My English knowledge helps me quite a lot, since rules there are quite similar. But mine colleagues who does not English as I do? They doing even worse.
Totally. Like me suddenly living in Russia. The only thing I’d understand would be <insert the one slur everyone knows here>. Horrible. Already knowing english helps a ton! That’s the only things where latin helps me sometimes. Understanding other european language’s words sometimes.
For more then B2, you need to provide strong reason why you need this course. And if Jobcenter would not consider this to be a strong reason (or today’s berator was in bad mood), then you might get refusal.
Oh yes. They CAN give you anything, but they have to see a reason, like you, AND be in a good mood. Of course you have rights and could fight for it, but…not being native, that’s a lol. And even if, it might take years, and when the decision is made you might be already long gone or already german :)
In my case, I am not affected. Everyone who want to get 24, starting from 9 October, they need to have proof that they “done their military duties”.
So you already did, lucky you. But that’s a mean thing to require. Being drafted means certain death :-(
because in case if, for example, I need to update passport (or I will lose it),
Fuck yes, never thought of that. Risk loosing one while not getting the other might end you stateless :-( How often would you require to get a new one in UA? here it’s 10yrs or so.
returning back on my own free will
I doubt you’d want that…currently at least, guess the UA isn’t a shithole per se. And probably you don’t want to return to the rest of your home either :-( How do you get a work-visa? when a company says “WE WANT THIS DUDE! LET HIM WORK HERE!”?
I thought this mostly applies to our far-east-immigrants, they segregate and want their own culture but with german privileges not in their own repressive state. I actually know more russians online than i’ve ever met here, so i have no educated opinion on their desire to segregate :-)
People who were born in USSR, quite often have this odd desire to return it back. I even had some experience to talk with 2 of such people when I come to Germany this year. I would say, that if they raised their kids with such mindset — then it continue to going on for longer.
But it is, probably, might be just the strong feeling of being alone or alien? Even if you learn language on very good level and be able to navigate new world — it still might feel alien. Of course, this new world might be better, but nostalgia is addictive sometimes, to the point of not being able to accept it fully.
Btw, you hate russians per se now? All russians i am in contact with have absolutely no problem with ukranians and despise the stupid war.
It might get long and ranty reply, so feel free to skip it, but it might get complicated.
In general, I do not hate them, but I am cautious. Even “despise the stupid war” might not mean the same thing for you versus Russian person.
In cases like that, I would like to ask WHEN RUSSIA started war against Ukraine. And the answer is, at the very least, is 2014 (although there were some “ringing balls” as early as 2003 year https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_Tuzla_Island_conflict or even earlier), when they annexed Crimea and parts of Donetsk and Luhansk regions.
Should I, also, mention, that in one of this regions was my hometown-birthtown? I had not seen it in 12 years, and never will again. And as bonus — Russia turned everything into shit that was good about this place.
If answer is not 2014, then it is very likely that person that you talking to — either supports it, or not considering it to be bad thing. And their against full-scale invasion only because they got their shit kicked by some subhuman “hohols”, their “little brothers”.
Or you could ask “To whom Crimea belongs to?”. Answers to that question can reveal many things about this person, sometimes, you would wish not knowing the answers.
As for my experience talking and being friends with them… It is also mixed bag. I remember being called “hohol” or having heard that Ukrainian is “Funny language” (without further explanation what does that even means) or “It is just dialect of Russian” too many times even before 2014 year.
Before 2022, I had been in active contact with 3 Russians, that I was friend with for some years.
One told me, that Ukraine is Nazis and that Russians are doing right thing. Also they told me that my home should be hit with “Kindzal” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kh-47M2_Kinzhal
Another one told me, that we (Ukrainians) are bombing ourselves, and as proof tried to bring videos from “Russia Today” channel, that was already banned from YouTube for Ukraine. Several years later, that friend tried to contact me, saying similar stupid things and trying “let’s not talk about this”. But I almost immediately cut that shit and sent them to fuck off.
Last one was just “I am apolitical” type of person.
I had more friends from there, but I lost contact with them way before, and I am not really want to find out that they either “zetnik” or “apolitical” or whatever. I am already not in the best state of my life.
So… Yeah… I do not really hate them (despite the fact that they are responsible for murdering my sibling and ruining my life; attempting to murder me. Seriously, it is so scare when something fall and explodes, even 20 kilometers away), but I am not exactly feeling very safe around them.
I can’t imagine at all. But I, personally, am really bad at language-learning, and especially bad with forced school-learning. I need my own place and pace.
Sadly, pace here is really fast.
I do not exactly understand when and how one should use “specific” and “whatever” Artikel. Like “das Auto” versus “ein Auto”. I asked teacher after lesson, so she could explain it better next time, and she told me, that she will prepare examples and stuff to learn the difference. But on a next day, she gave me sheet of paper, where she wrote rules and examples, and told me to learn by myself because we have no time to learn this in class. Every day is a new theme.
The funny part is, also, that is mostly my mistake, but I picked the school that does not even have holidays, lol. Expect like 7 days during new year, so I do not even have time to properly rest after all of this der-die-das-Partizip 2-ich-bin-nochmal madness, lol.
Totally. Like me suddenly living in Russia. The only thing I’d understand would be <insert the one slur everyone knows here>. Horrible. Already knowing english helps a ton! That’s the only things where latin helps me sometimes. Understanding other european language’s words sometimes.
Yeah, that is the only reason why I know enough words to say at least something.
Oh yes. They CAN give you anything, but they have to see a reason, like you, AND be in a good mood. Of course you have rights and could fight for it, but…not being native, that’s a lol. And even if, it might take years, and when the decision is made you might be already long gone or already german :)
I even had to witness this. So, you probably aware about the Tegel Berlin airport, that was reworked in… Maybe 2022 or earlier into refugee camp or temporary center before sending people to different states or haim.
This place, for a lack of better words, are shithole. I was living there for a good half a year, and I managed to lost health and my mental state.
But the funny thing is — some people were writing complains to that place, after which “mysteriously” got moved to different place much faster then expected, and, after they were already moved, they started getting mails like:
“Guten Tag We read your complaining, but after that we made check and found out that you do not live in Tegel anymore, so we can not do anything Thank you and good luck.”
already long
All things considering — it is sounds very grim, since being long gone is not yet out of picture :(
So you already did, lucky you. But that’s a mean thing to require. Being drafted means certain death :-(
Yep, this is essentially trap. I managed to move 2 week before it would had been too late for me, so decisions were made very quickly.
Fuck yes, never thought of that. Risk loosing one while not getting the other might end you stateless :-(
The worst part is that I, as refugee, or just in general, very much fucked here without passport. Even getting phone number here is tied to passport and mine visa (in my case, 24 paragraph). Or providing proof that I can legally stay in Germany. Proof which are glued into passport.
How often would you require to get a new one in UA? here it’s 10yrs or so.
I think my passport and ID should be okay up to 203x, but losing it seems to be more likely to happen, however. Or they could add a new law that will do something that will fuck up my life ¯_(ツ)_/¯
They already tried this with passport in ~2024 when they introduced that law, and 1 month before that law was supposed to get started — services refused to give out passports and other documents due to “error in the system”, which mysteriously had been fixed once law gain power. Cute :3
I doubt you’d want that…currently at least, guess the UA isn’t a shithole per se. And probably you don’t want to return to the rest of your home either :-(
If Russia never invaded — I doubt that there would had been that many reasons to move. European Union was very close, Euro integrations, changes here and there. But after 2014 it went into shit (especially for me). It started getting better again (better as in, it it quite good, considering you had ~13% of country just taken from you), but got fucked up in 2022.
I do not have much of my home left. Not much of my family left. No friends from there. No future (it was not like I had bright future even before 2014).
It is either become part of Europe (become German citizen, or other country) or fail miserably and return back, where I will, most likely, slowly fade away, but there would not be anyone to witness that.
How do you get a work-visa? when a company says “WE WANT THIS DUDE! LET HIM WORK HERE!”?
I can not say with 100%, but it is kind of close to this. As far I understand, you need to have certain level of official payment to apply work visa. So, for example, making 2000 or more Euro per month.
But, as far I understand, you can not simple start working in any MacDonalds and earn Visa. And if you will lose your job, you have 2 weeks to find a new one, or visa will be canceled.
And it is also important to not get yourself into job, where they can take advantage of you, knowing very well that you will lose job — you will lose visa. And as you said earlier — while you might be legally right — most likely you would not be able to do anything with that.
And there is already cases when Ukrainians are getting abused here in there, especially in payment amount and workplace safety.
When you are not citizen of a country and you want to achieve something — it is really hard.
im seeing alot of recent posts on other sites, how they are being pressured alot of not having a career having going through the layoffs, and as a result of the layoffs by friends family, and nagging from a boomer perspective.
