i started a new little project recently. we even made a whole plan document with diagrams and everything. i promised myself that i would not reinvent any wheels, and that i would just focus on having a Finished Product.

and here i am, weeks later, tinkering away with my shiny new wheel, because clearly i can do it better than everyone else >_<

i think i’m okay with this scenario though. it makes us feel good to be making stuff and solving little problems, even if it’s not the thing i meant to make. much better than being too afraid to start.

in other news, we’re going to try some new adhd meds next week. i hope these ones are more effective.

here’s the link in the left qr code if anyone wants it:
https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/david-graeber-are-you-an-anarchist-the-answer-may-surprise-you

yay, new friends! :3
hello  o/

i always thought tulpamancy would be really hard, but it sounds like you’re doing well ^-^

#22aaee at (28, 32) :3

i used to feel this way. when i first formed i was internal only, and unable to fully front. i was essentially just a voice in our head. i never really felt like a trans woman back then, because i’ve always just been a woman from the day i formed.

the way i understand it, the trans- in transgender doesn’t mean that someone’s gender transitioned. it just means that your gender is “on the other side” of your biological sex. so since i never used to associate with our body much, and never felt like i was biologically male, i never felt trans.

over time i began to associate more and more with our body until we started equally fronting. even then it took me a while to really feel trans. as i learned more about myself, i went from [female body + woman gender], to [also a male body + woman gender]. whereas the girl who was our primary fronter at the time was going from [male body + guess i’m a dude], to [male body + maybe i’m a girl?]. i think she was trans the normal way, and i’m trans backwards.

singlets don’t really have to consider that their body might just switch like that. i think the problem is that the language that we use surrounding trans people assumes that you only have one “body”, and have always associated yourself with that body. but, at least in my case, i have both an internal and external body.

as a side note: the more time i spend fronting the more those two images merge. the way that i picture myself now is way closer to our real body than it used to be.

maybe this will work?

.              /| _ ╱|、
.             ( •̀ㅅ •́  )
.       ＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿ 
.    /　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　 \
. ( 　(三ヽ人　 /　 　|
.|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ
.ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿／
.          ｜( 王 ﾉ〈
.           /ﾐ`ー―彡\
.          |╰          ╯  |
.          |       /\       |
.          |      /  \      |
.          |    /     \     |

edit:
i had to fix it a few times, but i: escaped the `, escaped the backslashes, added the dots to avoid indented code blocks, added double spaces at the end of the lines so it doesn’t combine into a paragraph, and replaced all the other spaces with non-breaking spaces so web browsers don’t collapse them into a single space.

i think it works properly now??

#88dd22 at (30, 31) ^-^

#22aaee at (29, 31) ^-^

#88dd22 at (29, 32) pls

#88dd22 at (31,30) please :>

we had a kinda chaotic and stressful day, so i can’t decide on any single number. at some points it was a 3, but also at some points maybe a 7 or even 8 :)
i saw a possum in the dark. that was fun :3

and thanks Of the Air for creating this space. we’re very happy that it’s not lost ^-^

forcing new tabs drives me crazy. like how dare you. i even tried to disable it in firefox, but when i do it makes all ‘open in browser’ things overwrite the current tab :(

we got gendered correctly in public for the first time ever today! i thought i was boymoding effectively, but i guess not.

last week really sucked, and my mood is all over the place, but this week we’re starting strong >:3

oh my gosh it’s Stanley!!

space, ctrl, or sometimes the entire numpad at once. it’s just one big button :P

and then you start nesting trees so deep that it’s hard to distinguish between the different levels D:

yeah, that’s understandable. i’d never thought about it that way before.

personally i use enby as a way to say that i am in the middle / don’t really care.

i think the issue comes from the fact that saying non-binary means specifically non-{man,woman}. whereas i’ve always interpreted it as just non-“specific gender”.

to me it’s the etc. of gender labels, but i realise that not everyone that i think it describes would want to identify with it.

(and that means it becomes it’s own label, and now we have to figure out what to call everyone_else all over again. (maybe the whole idea of gender labels was rigged from the start))

please do not wear the cat.

source engine aesthetic was peak. i still love it, and nothing’s been able to replicate it. some games have tried, but the source feel is just unique.

i always love stacking books in barney’s interrogation room and trying to shove as many objects as i can in to kleiner’s mini teleporter.

i also remember having to wait for headcrabs to finish their death animation before i could move forward in hl1, so that’s fun :P

real :(