I may be in the minority, but I’ve had some success in the past with getting Windows users to adjust to XFCE and LXDE on low resource machines. I know Ubuntu based distros are frowned upon by the community (even actively hated sometimes), but xubuntu and lubuntu might be worth a look for liveusb testing and having a low barrier to maintain.

This is one hell of a good April Fool’s joke.

It sounds like you are volunteering for the brave mission to discover moon berries. You will be remembered as a hero.

An alien made human trap akin to human made mouse traps, except they aren’t baiting us with any delicious food.

We’ve detected you aren’t using genuine Sony toner, your games are locked until you can replace the toner and renew your service warranty.

It seems this will get played off as if catching a case of “suicide” is like having a head cold. How far off the mark would some official statement about it be from: “This is a totally normal occurrence and happens from time to time. It’s probably not contagious and there is nothing to worry about. Some people just happen to have worse symptoms and stronger reactions than others if they do catch it. Here are some safety guidelines to avoid catching it yourself…”

Insert Seto Kaiba from YGOTAS joke here.