Yup. Completely agreed.
Romantic relationships have a strong tendency to be very dysfunctional precisely because of this. It’s made worse by most girls not knowing how limited a guy’s emotional repertoire is required to be, and most guys not knowing how strongly the society is conditioning girls to mute their desires.

And for this, that you ask for, to be possible some day, we really must do better!

Dunno. I don’t think she literally expects him to read her mind but this is rather an allegory of sorts.

And here comes the thing that her life doesn’t happen in a vacuum. She has been conditioned in all other parts of her life since she was only 12-year-old to not show sexual desire outwardly. It takes a lot of wisdom to understand not to apply in this situation something that you have accepted as a basic axiom of life.

Yeah, it would be much better to be outspoken about one’s needs, but that’s a very big thing to demand of a young and inexperienced woman. Relationship skills grow during the relationship. They are not something innate.

As long as the rest of the girl’s life conditions her to a certain behaviour, I would be primarily angry at those things conditioning her to that shit and only secondarily to her not recognising she has been conditioned to bad behaviour and should unlearn that usually necessary behaviour in certain contexts.

A woman might get beaten up or even raped as being “a whore” for being too outright about wanting sex. The risk is not very high, but if you repeat an action with a small risk often enough, the risk will realize.

Yeah, this is a thing that needs to change in the society. But, to change it, first it must be made safe, which means men actively standing up against other men when they behave in misogynistic ways. The bad guys look externally precisely the same as the good guys, and they ruin extremely much for the rest!

Could you tell what, approximately, was the important thing to read in the book?

I’m going to begin my HRT within the next month, I think, and while I do believe I’ve got a good hang of why I want slash need HRT, I’m obviously open for more insight that helps me understand myself yet a little better. That book is not available in my own library, but seems to be available some 100 km away, so I could get it with a somewhat reasonable hassle, but I’d like more insight on whether going through the hassle is worth it or not.

It really helps if you can find some!

Nails how I feel CUTE.

Look in the mirror.

…and you won’t see who it is. Because you are not me.

Thanks, that was a good text to read!

I’ve heard from some transfems who tried this that in the beginning of the HRT the fat goes to the places where it goes in a male body, so don’t expect nice results with this strategy very soon.

This trans baby that I am does not know when the fats will begin accumulating in the correct places, though, so cannot unfortunately help you with that. But eventually they will!

If it goes to your butt, that’s a good thing! I’d rather look like a somewhat fat girl than a skinny guy.

All I can say is that yesterday I just booked a time with a doctor in order to start my HRT and your text could almost have been written by me.

Feeling super scared. Anxious. And I’ve heard in the various trans peer support groups that that’s what others almost invariably have felt at thia point.

Apparently that’s how this goes. It is a daunting task. But, oso so many others have made it. And therefore, by all logic, so will both of us.

Why do you want to simulate periods?

I think taking away the burden of choice regarding the changing room could be nice – towards a trans woman at least. So, if they’re a woman, just show them the women’s changing room. If they show hesitancy, then tell them they’re of course free to use the other room as well.

A trans woman in men’s changing room can end up encountering some seriously shitty shit. A trans woman in women’s changing room is definitely safe, and unlikely to end up in any negative encounters whatsoever.

I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by how positively cis women react to trans women! 🩷

Many trans women can feel insecure about their right to use the women’s changing room, so gently pushing them that way as showing that as the assumed default will help them.

Also make sure that the customer knows that if there should be any conflicts with other customers, you definitely will have their back!

At what point after starting HRT do such cramps or PMS symptoms actually appear if they are to appear? About right away? Or after half a year? Or when?

This seems to make it clear that GGP is not an option, then.

I don’t like the risk of my healthcare data leaking to a trans-hostile country such as USA, but since I wouldn’t dare to travel there anyway, it is extremely unlikely to really affect me in any way. Imago seems like the way to go, then.

There are, but I am not aware of one that would prescribe anything without a trans diagnosis from the public healthcare. And because I got diagnosed with psychosis for being transgender, it will take a couple of years for them to agree to give me a trans diagnosis. Now they see me as fake trans who just “has psychosis that will eventually pass and he will be male again”. Once the “psychosis” is “dealt with”, they’ll probably give me the diagnosis.

Those private ones are useful if you have plenty of money and want to skip the queues that can be 1½ years long, but first you need to get the public healthcare to cooperate. And in my case it won’t, for the time being.

What a good text!

Thanks! 🩷

About the list of options: those would require me to live in UK or at least physically travel there to use those services, right?

Do you know what those people have been unsatisfied with regarding ggp?

Cypro apparently means the same substance as androcur?

My source is basically hearsay from other trans women, based on what the doctors in the public healthcare in my country have told them during their transitioning.