Scenario: It’s night, and a man is walking home. He sees ahead there is a woman going in the opposite direction as him. Knowing not to stop or approach her, but his presence makes her nervous. What would help further in this scenario if anything?
I usually just say something like “good evening” and continue walking and you immediately see the other person relax.
Just be polite and ignore them, I guess
Does anyone remember that Vine where the guy is filming himself walking at night and says “oh there’s a woman walking alone up there. I better catch up to her and let her know I’m not a threat” as he starts sprinting? Damn vine used to be fun
Rape jokes are so funny
Agree, Jimmy Carr absolutely nails them!
People can pick up a lot of information from someone they see walking towards them. They can tell by your gait, your body movements, and facial expressions (if you’re close enough to see them) whether you might be a threat or not. As a man in this situation who has never and will never be a threat to women I think that comes across in subtle ways without having to say a word. And since someone I didn’t know at a party came up to me and said I had the kindest face they’ve ever seen, that also works in my favor. When we finally pass each other I always say hello and smile and keep on walking. And if you do see a woman walking towards you don’t do anything stupid like slow down or stop or walk with your head down with your hands in your pockets.
Ignore and carry on with your life.
I’m a very large bearded guy with perpetual asshole face. I’ve learned that the best thing to do is whip out my phone and study it assiduously and make sure not even look in her direction while we pass. It works quite well. Everyone who knows me knows that I am definitely not a danger, but I sure as shit look like one.
Don’t try to chat up women at night. There is no scenario of a strange man being interested in me while it’s dark that I’ll be receptive to. It’s impossible for your line to be so good I’ll stop seeing you as dangerous.
If the woman is uncomfortable she can alter her path. I’ve been that woman before but have rarely felt uncomfortable enough to cross the street or whatever. I just keep walking and either ignore or give a pleasant nod to the man to let him know I’m chill and not scared and we’re two normal innocuous people passing each other.
Maybe twice in my life my spidey senses tingled and I changed my path and got out of there. Our instincts protect us.
Make eye contact, smile widely, and enthusiastically extend my hand so she knows I’m not a threat.
No, I actually just keep walking, not altering my path. Occasionally will give them a nod, just like I’d give anyone.
I just wave and go on my business. Unless they have a dog, in which case I say ‘sup dawg’ because that’s what I do for all 3 dimensional dogs.
And for 4 dimensional dogs?
Since they’re moving through time, I view them as a flipbook version of the 3 dimensional version, thus they also deserve a 'sup.
If you’re referring to a dogserract, that’s above my pay grade.
Ignore her like anyone else and let her decide on her own comfort zone walking by you? If some one sees you walking alone, and starts altering their behavior because of your presence, whatever their intention, it sends the message that you have been noticed, you are being watched, they are reacting to your presence, and this indicates some kind of interest or goal in an interaction.
So just keep waking, if she wants to cross the street, just ignore her. Definitely don’t yell “It’s okay I’m not a rapist!” or “I have a girlfriend already!”, just let her do her thing, and you keep doing yours.
Take a step or two to the side if able, otherwise just try to get past without eye contact. I worry more about coming up behind them and say good evening to let them know I’m there.
Coming up behind them is the worst. Especially if you’re close. I always wait until there’s a good distance between us before I start walking.
I usually turn around and start walking backwards, peeking quickly over my shoulder and looking increasingly worried because she’s chasing ME and she’s getting closer!
Don’t make women the victim; be a gentleman and YOU be the victim.
I usually turn around and start walking backwards,
lol I imagined you walking backwards literally, maintaining the original direction after turning around
That is good because that’s what I meant!
- Make eye contact. No eye contact is creepy. It’s best to err on the side of more, rather than less, eye contact, because you probably don’t make enough.
- Pick up the pace. If you’re walking slowly, it’s going to look like you’re trying to prolong the encounter, so go at least at a trot.
- Hands are threatening, so keep one or both behind your back to prevent spooking her.
- Smile! You look prettier that way. Two birds with one stone here: if you keep a smile on your face, you’ll look less threatening, and you can tell her to smile to inform her that you want her to be happy.
- Pay her a compliment to put her at ease. Something non-sexual like, “you have beautiful teeth.”
- It will be clear you’re not a threat if she knows you’ve got something else. You could communicate that you’re going home to eat by licking your lips. Make some smacking noises too, if it’s dark.
- Clothes conceal threats, so take yours off.
HTH
It’s almost the same if you’re a woman and see a man who’s looking a little skittish
- Unbuckle your teeth, nobody like a tight toother
- Tie one leg behind your back and strap on something and pop it in your shoe
- Wave both hands in the air in a jazz fashion so they can see you coming
- Say something normative like mshnklfcknwoshlstf
- You can communicate by sucking in your lips and pretending you don’t have any
- If possible wear the skin of the last man you crossed
More like the last man who crossed you!
See a woman in distance. Puts hands behind his back (could be a weapon). Picks up the pace. Looks straight into the eyes, lock on, force a smile so you look like a psycho and say: you have beautiful theeth.
If she doesn’t call the police or starts screaming then you surely didn’t follow all the points.
Calling the police is normal, as it helps her to feel safer. Don’t worry, this is a synergistic response to the situation.
HTH
If this isn’t a wrong answers only question:
I would be more comfortable if the guy gave me space, but as long as you are not accosting me, a “good evening” and keep going is fine.
If it’s wrong answers only, choose any of the walks from the ministry of silly walks Monty Python sketch.
As a woman, seriously, just give me the bro nod to acknowledge that I exist but am not that interesting to you and keep walking. If you go out of your way to show that you aren’t a threat now I’m thinking you’re a threat, and if you pointedly ignore me now I’m wondering if you are actually far more interested in me than you should be but you want me not to notice.
Brief eye contact while acknowledging that I exist tells me you aren’t afraid of me remembering your face but that you aren’t being weird and staring or trying to hide from me.
Bro nod and a howdy or evenin’ are what I usually go with. I am usually walking with my husband though (we are both dudes) and my guy is scary-looking so if someone (man, woman or other) crosses to avoid us I fully understand and respect the situational awareness.
I like to have a smile as well. If I give the nod or even a cursory “hello” I try to have my body language say that I in no way expect or need any sort of response or acknowledgement.
I’d go with “Evening” over “Hello”. The latter signals that you’re trying to initiate a conversation, the former is just friendly acknowledgement.
I feel this is exactly what OP and others fear. Trying to optimize the best way to pass someone without being creepy or threatening. It can be maddening. Like, I see your point, but how far down that rabbit hole can we go? It’s exhausting trying to not be weird which is ultimately weird itself.
That’s just generally what I would do when passing someone at night. Polite acknowledgement, keep walking.
Which nod is that, a down nod or an up nod? I’ve always found up nod threatening tbh
Definitely a down nod. An up nod indicates that you want their attention.
See maybe it’s my part of the world, but I’ve always seen guys use an up nod as sort of a “yo, 'sup fellow human” , and a down nod as a “hello there”. The up nod just has a subtly more chill bro feel to it, but either is fine lol.
Now I need to go poll some guys.
For me an up nod is a greeting towards somebody I know, or at least have seen before.
And a down nod is an respectful acknowledgement towards a stranger.
Idk if anyone else reads them that way though…
That’s how I’ve always interpreted and done it.
I think there is a cultural thing around nods. I would definitely not recommend, in this situation, doing a nod that does not feel natural to you, so either do whatever nod you can actually pull off casually, or skip the nod.
There is also a locale specificity… Where I live, people don’t usually nod or otherwise acknowledge strangers on the street. Some places you might be expected to smile and nod or even say hi.
TIL i’ve had it backwards all this time. oh well, guess i’ll just add it to the mountain of “basic aspects of basic human interaction that i will now be overthinking on manual mode for the rest of my life” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s not universal.
In thia context i would interpret it as “Hey, it’s pretty dark out here. Wanna buy drugs?”
Or just summoning someone to come over to you
I have always read it as down nod is for acknowledging someone you don’t know/ know very well, and up nod is for people you know. The idea being you nod down to cover your vital neck while also making eye contact, in a sorta “I see/I am watching you if you try something”. Up nod reveals the neck, showing trust and comfortability.
I just find the up-nod extremely douchy in any circumstance
I’m feeling extremely vindicated! I hate it, and I dislike in general the idea that men “nod at each other to say hello”
Let’s see: “Sup? Let’s fight” vs “Hello”…
Shit, now I’m self conscious about my nod reflexively being an up nod!
Mind your business and keep walking. Don’t be weird and stare. Maybe smile, nod your head, or say hello – again if you can be normal. In any case keep walking.
This would be maybe normal here if it’s not too late and it’s a small town or neighborhood. In the major city I live in, I guarantee women prefer to be soundly ignored by any men passing by, since even during daytime you only talk to people you already know or have business with.
