I’ll consider it! I want Pluto (2023) on dvd or bluray, but it is on lock on netflix and i simply refuse to subscribe to that shit. I have a soft spot for Naoki Uwasaki. He’s one of the only mangaka living today, who manages to tell stories that I like.

But yeah, i dont know how piracy deals with language and subtitle options in today’s landscape. Because I prefer to have options and I’m not sure I could get a pirated dvd version where i can switch language and/or subtitles while watching.

But thank you for the the tip, friend! I have starred your comment so i can find it if/when i look into it. 🤗❤️

In my case, i went back to physical media. Bought a blhray player and now my boyfriend and I are gradually expanding our movie library when we feel like it. Some movies and shows don’t exist on dvd/bluray, but that’s okay. I think there is something healthy about not having access to absolutely everything you want at all times. Besides, for me, there is also something satisfying in having ti get up from the couch and change discs and so on. I missed the physical aspect of watching movies and remember how much streaming services fried my fucking brain while i still used them.

It was to the point where you barely register wtf you are watching because everything on streaming services is about the next thing.

Movies werent movies on streaming services, but content and I heard people starting to refer to movies and shows as content at some point and was like “this is fucked”.

Content. Content to fill the void. Not to experience or educate, enlighten or provoke your senses and morality. Just content to distract you.

Ew.

I dont mimd piracy, but i prefer physical media. I no longer wish to follow technollgical advancements. I want to go back and stay at a place where there was some level of conscious and physical effort to watch a movie. That way you remember it better, you slow down and you appreciate the piece of art in front of you rather than seeing it as content.

The movie “Shame” is a pretty good example of lonliness despite having sex constantly. I think it was with Michael Fassbender and from 2012, but it’s been awhile so I don’t remember. Good movie, though. Real feel bad film.

First of all: that is not how it works

Second of all: the loneliness epidemic is not just happening to men, it is happening to everybody.

Third of all: loneliness can happen to anyone, even people who appear to have it all. It is not just the extreme stereotype of the hermit who barely speaks to a living soul for two years, that is valid in feeling lonely. Sometimes it’s the people who seem to have a big network of friends who are the loneliest because all their friendships are superficial and the person may struggle to commit to others and be vulnerable. Other people become distractions from a deep hurt and selfloathing, they don’t know how to address. No one is ever let in because it’s too scary and risky to show weakness. But you have 50 friends and is everybody’s pal, so you can’t be lonely, right?

And then there’s the more mundane type of loneliness, that happens to a lot of people in the first world when they enter the workforce and/or start a family. It can become terribly lonely when you don’t have the time and energy to nurture friendships and community because you work all the time and in the current day and age, social activity takes place on screens. People hang out on social media where they share pics and political views instead of meeting up for a beer or a lemonade to chat like our parents’ generations did.

I have seen countless posts from 30somethings over the past decade, who ask about how to make friends at their age because they feel so lonely and all their old friends live far away. These are men and women. Some of them are parents of newborns others are single career people who have been grinding and suddenly realized they have neglected their social life.

Everybody is lonely in this day and age. I have felt lonely for years because i had to grind at work and didnt have time for recrrational activities. I have plenty of friends, good family and a lovely boyfriend and I was still lonely because I had to work all the time. Doesn’t help that all my friends and family live far away so most of our interactions are on screens and not in the flesh. And if there is anything I think the modern first world human being is undervaluing and neglecting, it’s physical closeness and irl community. The screens have replaced that despite being the shittiest substitute for physical touch imaginable.

To me, there is nothing that can calm every cell in my body like a hug from someone i love and whom I know loves me back. It is irreplacable.

Hvor er det godt at høre <3 <3 og ja, når man er i gang med at kravle ud af mørket, så føles det hele tungt og fremskridt er så små at man ikke engang lægger mærke til dem. Det vigtigste og vildeste er at du kravler videre og rækker ud! Det er så stærkt! Og på et eller andet tidspunkt, vil du kigge dig over skulderen og blive forbløffet over hvor langt du er kommet! Sådan var det i hvert fald for mig da jeg ikke gad være her mere, men blev hængende alligevel. Ligepludselig en dag, greb jeg en pensel og begyndte at male og derfra kravlede jeg videre og kom tilbage på skolebænken og efter det, fik motivationen til at spise sundere og bevæge mig og så rullede lavinen ellers. Men det tog lang tid og var pisseirriterende langsomt og absolute hele besværet værd!

Jeg håber, at du kæmper videre, for der er mennesker her og nu, der holder af dig og der er mennesker, du slet ikke har mødt endnu, hvis liv vil blive bedre i fremtiden, fordi de har mødt dig og vice versa <3 Kram!

Lykkedes det dig at få kontakt til nogen?

Baseret på din ageren herinde, så er min opfattelse, at du er et dejligt menneske, som verden ville være fattigere uden <3

Og det er bare pisse fucking hårdt at være der, hvor du er, men som de andre siger, så kommer der bedre tider! Der vil altid være ar indeni, men mennesket er den vildeste overlever og arrene er med til at gøre os stærkere og mere empatiske, også selvom de er kommet af de mest uretfærdige årsager.

Kram!! <3

I still remember when he cried in jail because he had a PS2 and wanted a PS3. He was rejected.

He also snuggled with his mother in bed and was so extreme that the neo nazi forum he frequented banned him for being too radical.

I remember visiting a neo nazi forum while the situstion was occuring and while it was a shocking and terrible time, i did get a kick out of seing them all first talk about muslim terrorists with this smug, arrogant “sadness” like “yet another attack by islamists. Could’ve been avoided if they would listen to us”.

Then when the news broke that it was one of their own who’d done it, thry completely shifted tone and became very busy disavowing him and making no true scotsman arguments.

The part that saddens me is that in today’s world, these types would celebrate him and revel in the hate and harm one of them had caused. They would make him a martyr and a hero.

I miss living in a world where even the lowest scum in society still had some level of humanity to them.

Today’s world is being run by extremism and hatred and glee to see those you hate suffer.

I dont know where people’s humanity went, but i hope we will someday look back on the 2020s and cringe at ourselves for allowing humanity to go mad.

I miss when the world was a bit more normal.

Thats basically what the 20s are for everybody. You try to be anything but yourself and then you grow out of it and spend your 30s cringing at 20s-you.

My autocorrect is my nemesis. The phone I had before this one had pretty solid autocorrect, but this current one has an autocorrect that is so terrible I’m forced to correct my autocorrect constantly.

Should probably do what you do and turn it off and see what happens.

I think a better challenge would be to turn off the internet for a week and see what happens. The times I did internet detoxes, I felt completely relaxed and got a mental clarity I don’t have in my day to day life. Sadly I’m dependent on the internet for my job, so I can’t really detox like that nowadays, but I miss the feeling.

Haha, I bet! Life is a goofy frenemy, isnt it? What have you had to deal with the past decade?

Yeah, I have pretty significant pet peeve around not being believed so getting a label meant a lot to me until it didn’t. Figured that it’s not gonna change anything whether or not I have confirmation of my suspensions or not. I was never interested in meds, just wanted someone to believe me. And now I’m like: but why, though? I mean, I know why and I know it goes deep, but I don’t think it’s the right thing for my process to lean into the need for other people’s validation of my experiences and emotions. It doesn’t matter. The people who made me feel like that my whole life aren’t a part of it anymore.

Currently, I think the inability to be creative and the self isolation has a lot to do with recent events in my life that has drained me. Lost my beloved company after three years of fighting to stay afloat amidst wars and inflation and AI, sacrificing sleep, hobbies and social time, had family drama that resulted in my siblings and me cutting our parents out of our lives and was diagnosed with the pre-stages to breast cancer in June and had my breast cut off in July. I am still healing from the operation. It’s been a bit intense, ngl xD that’s why I don’t think it’s ADHD related, but still felt the meme was relatable! 🥰

Det skal du nu ikke være bange for. Jeg er et værre sludrechartol og har altid været (lidt for) åben omkring ting og sager som er tunge. Glemmer af og til at det også kan være overvældende for modtageren at få slynget sådan noget i hovedet så det må du altså undskylde, hvis det var for meget for dig! Det var ikke min hensigt! 🤗😅

Du skal ikke være bange for at sige noget forkert i øvrigt. Meget af det jeg har delt er jo langt tilbage i tiden og ikke rigtig noget, der tynger mig i dag. Jeg bliver altid passioneret i øjeblikket når jeg taler om det og det kan godt blive lidt for meget for andre.

Jeg delte det mest for at understrege hvor kikset systemet er når det kommer til at hjælpe folk i nød, for når de ikke engang kan håndtere en som mig, der skam havde problemer, men slet ikke i samme skala som folk som Aisha, så ser det ret skidt ud for folk, der virkelig lider for alvor. Det fik jeg nok ikke lige forklaret så godt 😅

It’s probably depression adjacent, yeah.

Granted, I don’t feel depressed, but I do feel incredibly exhausted after the last three years I have had, lol. I’ll spare you the trauma dump xD

I have, however, started to wonder if the ADHD suspicions my boyfriend and I have about me, are actually CPTSD symptoms instead. Found a list of 17 symptoms for CPTSD on a health organization website a month-ish ago and I scored 11, which was a bit like “okay, spicy.” One of my sibs struggles a lot with similar symptoms to me and is in therapy. The term CPTSD has been used in their context so now I’m like “kewl. Awesome. Whatever”.

While I don’t think it’s related to ADHD, I currently haven’t drawn for fun in little over a year. Used to draw everyday and it makes me so happy and relaxed when I do it. Same with writing stories. I would write daily. But I just can’t, right now. It’s like I’m entirely blocked from it.

In my case I think it’s currently related to stress/being burnt out, but yeah. Relatable.

Sounds really rough, but also relatable, friend! That thing with things just piling up year after year and you not catching a friggin break ever.

If I may play the world’s smallest violin for a sec: I had a period of 8 years - between 2015 and to 2023 - where my life finally went in the right direction for the first time ever in my life. Spent four years getting my degree and making genuinely good friends for the first time. After I graduated I teamed up with a former classmate and made a company and we had so many jobs and things were friggin awesome for another three years and then that stupid fucking war in Ukraine happened and inflation happened and no one would pay extra for our work so we went from having pretty okay incomes to struggling a tiny bit. And then 2023 happened and some changes occurred that meant I would have to work alone and work for two people by myself for a year. Didn’t get to have days off or hobbies or a social life for a year. Spent all my time and energy to keep this thing afloat alone and then when the year had passed all our clients dropped like flies because they couldn’t afford our services and had to cut their budgets, which was completely understandable. My partner came back and we limped along for awhile. Then we caught a major client who would secure us financially and the job was big so we had to say no to other smaller jobs in order to keep our autumn open. We barely got any income in the first half of 2025 because we had to prepare for the job and there was a ton of legal stuff we needed to learn about to not get screwed over. We were set to start working the first week of August or something like that and the weekend before, literally two days before we started, the company pulled out of the deal with no explanation. That killed our company because we had no jobs now. Lol. We managed, because we always do, to get a few smaller jobs to pay our company bills but we barely got any paychecks for ourselves.

Btw, I had suffered with stress since the end of 2023 and had gone from being an optimistic, social and creative person to being the opposite. When this final blow to our company happened I barely cared, tbh.

Also, meanwhile all this stuff with my company had been going on from autumn 2023 to now spring of 2026, my stupid mother also decided to destroy the family with narcissistic drama and got all of us involved in her bs so I had to basically take care of my elderly parents’ stupid divorce at some point and one of my best friends was cheated on so I had to be her support for most of 2024 while falling apart myself. In my company, we started the process of dissolving it in the beginning of this year. Meanwhile, my siblings started telling me they had cut contact with both our parents because it was revealed that they had systematically been manipulating and lying to us our whole lives, which didn’t surprise me, but what did, was the scope of the lies. Went from thinking my mother was just a bit of a narcissistic loser to genuinely wondering if she had tried to kill some pf us over the years by dripping poison in our ears to destroy our wills to live. Also, in one case, tampering with food to deliberately hurt one of my siblings who has an allergy. And then by June I was tested for breast cancer and I had the pre-stages to it and had my breast cut off entirely in July and in August, I officially “broke up” with my parents.

I dunno what the hell the future holds for me, and I don’t expect much at this point, but I always comfort myself with the knowledge that none of this shit really matters and I get to define and prioritize what matters. I have a garden that my spouse and I sow and plant all kinds of things in to help the insects. My cancer scare brought my siblings back together and we are going to hang out for the first time ever this weekend. Just the five of us. I have work still, and now that I’m back in the hamster wheel, I keep pace with the deadlines. All good stuff. I have days where I feel hopeless. I still don’t have my creative spark back and I’m still not social, but I have found a bit of optimism again and am accepting that things just take time.

I don’t know your situation, of course, but I recognize the feelings of having nonstop adversity. For three years I have had nothing but bad news. Literally, the only good thing that happened up until I got almost-cancer, was that my boyfriend and I moved out of our shitty apartment where we were surrounded by noisy and inconsiderate drunks and moved closer to the countryside and into a little house with a garden. That silly little garden has been the only bright spot in my life for months, right up until I had my breast removed and got my siblings back. Let me tell you how much this silly little garden could brighten my day in early spring when my life was a perpetual chaos and the first little spring flowers escaped the soil! Man, that was the entire reason to live! Listening to woodpeckers and owls and blackbirds singing to their mates. Wonderful. I think it’s the small things that can keep you from going mad, when you’re in the bad karma stretches of life. But yeah, I’m sure you know this. I just hope you have the option to find your little oasis of peace while you struggle your way through these hard times! End of my tiny violin.

What made it impossible to recover the lost work? I’m curious, because I’m sure you would have recovered it if you could have, so it must be pretty bad Dx sending you a digital hug. It’s not much, but I really feel for you! I cannot remotely imagine how absolutely devastated I would feel if I lost four years of work and had no way to get my money until next year 🫠 urgh. Do you have enough savings to get by until then? Sorry if I’m a bit too prodding. You don’t have to answer in case it’s too personal! 🤗🤗🤗

Det er et rigtig godt ord for det! Som du selv siger: meget rammende.

Der var folk som også prøvede at hjælpe imellem alle dem, som fik et dopamin boost af at jorde en. Problemet med dem, der gerne ville hjælpe var at at faktisk ikke magtede opgaven. De kom med deres slogans og ordsprog og følte at de gjorde noget godt, men alt de gjorde var at afsløre hvor lidt de forstod og hvor totalt uforberedte de var på at hjælpe folk, der kæmper psykisk. Blandt de velmenende ord jeg fik med på vejen og som kun gjorde mig værre var ting som:

“Du har nok kun en let depression” - sagt af min læge den ene dag jeg havde samlet kræfterne til at komme og se ham i stedet for at ligge og stirre ind i en væg i en måned, mens jeg planlagde mit selvmord eller ringede til min kæreste 20 gange i streg fordi jeg var overbevist om, at der var sket ham noget og at han lå død med knivstik et eller andet sted.

“Husk at du ikke er din depression ✨️” - slogan på en folder om depression i et venteværelse hos en psykolog. Altså. Når man har depression så er hjernen jo i krig med sig selv og leder efter enhver mulighed for at selvsabotere og sådant et lille live laugh love slogan bliver kun tolket som at det man oplever ikke er virkeligt og at man ikke skal regne med at nogen her kommer til at tage ens virkelighed seriøst. Hvilket jo heller ikke var helt forkert i mit tilfælde. Det er nok noget af det mest kiksede pjat man kunne skrive på en folder om depression. Der kunne ligeså godt have stået: vi ved ikke hvad vi snakker om, men vi syntes det her lød snappy!

“Angst er lidt som en hovedpine. Den er ikke farlig selvom den er ubehagelig” - sagt af min læge. Min kæreste har altid godt kunnet lide det udtryk og har forsvaret det mange gange gennem årene og jeg kan jo også godt se i dag at det ikke er ondt ment eller en forkert sammenligning, men det skal man altså bare ikke sige til en person, der får daglige angstanfald. Vi ved godt, at det ikke er noget vi dør af. Vi får minimum et angstanfald om dagen. Vi ved godt vi ikke dør af det eller at det er farligt. Det er slet slet slet ikke det, det handler om. Men det smadrer vores hverdag og det smadrer mig psykisk og fysisk i flere dage efter hvert anfald. Det er jo ikke livskvalitet. Hvad skal jeg dog bruge “angst er som en hovedpine” til? Det har du hørt på et eller andet kursus og fordi du ikke ved hvad du skal sige til mig, så siger du det der.

En jeg kender, som endte på en klinik for folk med spiseforstyrrelser havde også en lignende oplevelse af at de professionelle overhovedet ikke havde forståelse for hvad en spiseforstyrrelse er og hvad den gør ved den syge. De sagde til hende at hun blev nødt til at spise noget, ellers ville hun dø af det. Som hun sagde til mig: altså, det var jo lissom planen, men de gik allesammen bare ud fra at jeg gerne ville leve så det gik helt skævt fra start. På det tidspunkt havde hun ikke spist fast føde i lidt over et år og levede 100% af kaffe og energidrikke og kakaomælk. Men de professionelle tilgik deres patienter med deres eget verdenssyn i stedet for at forstå og sætte sig ind i de syges verdenssyn og arbejde med dem derfra.

Og sådan er det bare. Man skal helst passe ind i de professionelles verdenssyn og når deres “hårde arbejde” unægteligt fejler, så bliver de frustrerede på en fordi man ikke bare bliver rask og holder deres tidsplan.

Kontanthjælpssystemet er på nøjagtig samme måde hvis man bliver sygemeldt og slipper for at skulle i aktivering osv. De ånder dig i nakken, gør de, og hvis du så meget som griner af en joke eller har en enkelt dag hvor du godt kan gå udenfor en dør og tage ned og handle, så klapper fælden og så skal du erklæres rask og tvinges ud i aktivering og tage dig sammen og yadda yadda. Så hvis man har depression på den måde jeg havde det, så synker man aktivt længere ned i mørket og bliver bange for at få det bedre fordi så mister man det pusterum man har brug for.

Vi endte faktisk med at melde mig helt ud af kontanthjælpssystemet og overleve på min kærestes SU i nogle år. Det var meget, meget hårdt, men vi vurderede at hvis jeg nogensinde skulle have en chance for at blive rask, så skulle jeg ud af systemet og vi måtte bare prøve at overleve så godt vi kunne indtil min kæreste blev færdig og kom i arbejde.

Systemet hader dig, hvis du er syg. Selv dem, der egentlig gerne vil hjælpe dig, gider dig ikke hvis du er for lang tid om at blive glad igen. Og selv hvis de gerne vil dig, så er systemet sat op til at straffe dig. Jeg havde én psykolog ud af de mange ligegyldige, som faktisk vidste hvad hun lavede og virkelig hjalp mig. Problemet var at min sygesikring kun dækkede de ti første samtaler og derefter måtte jeg betale fuld pris for at fortsætte og det havde jeg på ingen måde råd til. Så det der skete var at hun brugte ti samtaler til at nå ind til min kerne, som en kirurg, der med præcision skærer dig op så du er allermest sårbar og blottet… og så forlod hun rummet og jeg måtte sy mig selv sammen igen. Det forløb ødelagde mig mere end alle de andre, med de inkompetente psykologer. Jeg var så fucked up efter forløbet hos den gode psykolog, at jeg aldrig igen genvandt tilliden til terapiforløb og aldrig igen kommer til at betale nogen for at “skære mig op” på den måde igen. Synes faktisk at det er decideret forkasteligt at man kan gøre sådan noget mod mennesker. Psykologen selv var heller ikke glad for at slippe mig, men hun kunne ikke gøre noget så eh. Jeg ved ikke om det blev indført, men jeg vsr glad da politikerne for nogle år siden snakkede om at gøre psykologsamtaler gratis for unge op til 25 år eller hvad grænsen nu var. Det er virkelig et godt forslag for det er virkelig ikke hensigtsmæssigt at forvente at unge mennesker, der knap har penge nok til mad, skal kunne diske op med 1200 kr om ugen så de kan få bearbejdet vilde traumer, der smadrer deres liv og evne til at tage uddannelser og tjene penge. Håber, at det blev indført, for det der med at man kan fikse et menneske, der lider med ti psykologsamtaler er en total utopi.

Alt dette er selvfølgelig den positive version af mine oplevelser i systemet. De dårlige er alle mistænkeliggørelserne af en som syg, chikane og mobning i aktivering, psykologer, der modarbejder en og sagsbehandlere der decideret sidder og råber dig ind i ansigtet nede på jobcenteret og kalder dig alverdens grimme ting foran andre borgere, der går forbi. Jeg var langt fra den eneste, der blev behandlet på den måde. Det var rimelig normal kotyme og jeg var lang fra den, der blev behandlet værst.

Men altså, systemet er meget effektivt til at få luget de svageste i samfundet fra. Hvis ikke du kan og ikke har nogen, der kan kæmpe/betale for dig, så kan du jo bare dø så du ikke længere er en besværlig belastning for systemet. Det er lettere for systemet hvis du bare forsvinder. Så kan vi smide dig ind i en eller anden sørgelig statistik og lade som om at vi ikke har en finger med i spillet. Aisha er et rigtig godt eksempel på det i og med at de prøver at overtale hende til at forlade Danmark. Om du flytter eller dør, er ligemeget. Please bare gå væk, så vi ikke skal bruge flere ressourcer på dig.

Det må skære så dybt hvis man ved at der er folk lige ved siden af en, som burde tage det alvorligt men går rundt og slår det hen.

Det er det nemmeste og mindst besværlige at sende bolden videre til nogle andre. Ingen gider oprigtigt hjælpe et menneske som er i krise. For mit vedkommende, både i barndommen og i min ungdom, så var “hjælp” et trækplaster som voksne satte på en og hvis ikke du blev bedre så var du forkert og irriterende. Som ung voksen fik du mere eller mindre bare at vide at du skulle holde op med at skabe dig og gøre dig selv til et offer for at få opmærksomhed.

En af mine yndlingsanekdoter er fra da jeg var i et tilbud for “psykisk skrøbelige unge” og fik at vide af min sagsbehandler på stedet, at det var “egoistisk af mig at få angstanfald om natten og vække min kæreste, som modsat mig, faktisk prøvede at få en uddannelse og være til gavn for samfundet”.

Der var bare så mange psykologer og sagsbehandlere og læger og jeg ved ikke hvad, som behandlede mig som om jeg var en ildelugtende karklud de ikke rigtig gad bruge tid på. På trods af at de tjente deres dejlige penge på folk som mig og vores smerte og lidelser. Ved ikke hvordan de typer dog kunne sove om natten. Det ødelagde permanent mit forhold til psykologer og til terapi i det hele taget. Sagsbehandlere har jeg heller ikke meget til overs for, selvom jeg godt ved at der er nogle gode folk derude mellem alle sadisterne.

Jeg havde 100% været et navn på en sten på en eller anden ligegyldig kirkegård i dag, hvis ikke min kæreste havde været der for mig. Jeg græmmes ved tanken om, hvor mange børn og unge mennesker, der ikke har/havde mit held og aldrig får/fik en, som synes de er besværet værd. Det er næsten for ubærligt at tænke på.

Jeg ved ikke hvor Aisha får sin styrke fra for hun har ikke en eneste person, der er der for hende. Men hun har dog sin datter og jeg kan godt forestille mig, at det vækker helt utrolige kræfter i et menneske at sætte et liv i verden som man er ansvarlig for. Hun er i hvert fald et utroligt menneske og jeg håber, at hun kan få lov til at leve et fredeligt liv med sin datter en dag. Det fortjener de begge virkelig!

præcis! For der er jo ikke noget galt i de muslimske familier, der chiller og bare lever deres liv og er ordentlige samfundsborgere, men det der system som Aisha beskriver, det har jeg godt hørt om før og selvom jeg godt vidste at vi ikke er kommet det til livs, så var jeg alligevel rystet over hvordan det danske velfærdssystem faktisk kommer til at hjælpe og beskytte de forkerte folk, mens dem det er sat op for at beskytte, bare må klare sig selv.

Og selvom jeg ikke på nogen måde er en del af et islamisk parallelsamfund, så har jeg selv oplevet på egen krop hvordan velfærdssystemet svigter ofre for vold og traumer når de har allermest brug for dem. Min historie er langt mildere en Aishas og en helt anden problematik, men kunne bare genkende de følelser Aisha beskrev omkring hvordan systemet bare aldrig gav en fuck for hende både som barn og voksen. Og det gør mig simpelthen så harm, for hvordan skal vi komme disse parasitter, der sidder og styrer en hel minoritetsgruppe i samfundet til livs, hvis vores eget system giver op på forhånd og vender det blinde øje til? Så er der jo pludselig meget lang vej.

ah, det giver rigtig god mening! Jeg husker det lige næste gang jeg deler en video at der er en kategori til videoer xD